When Ashtin Gamblin heard a loud noise near the front of Club Q on the night of Nov. 19, 2022, she didn’t think much of it at first.

“I heard a really loud bang. I thought someone had thrown a snowball,” said Gamblin, who was working the door at the LGBTQ+ nightclub. “Then I looked up, and I realized it was a shooting.”

An armed assailant walked into the club that night and opened fire on the crowd of patrons, killing five people — Daniel Aston, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paugh, Derrick Rump and Raymond Green Vance — and injuring dozens of others, including Gamblin, who was shot nine times.

Two years have passed since the hate-fueled attack on the club, but for many of the attendees at Sunday’s remembrance gathering, the emotional wounds remain raw.

“Of course (the shooting) affects the survivors, but it also affects the entire community,” said Pasha Ripley of Parasol Patrol, a nonprofit that provides security and emotional support at LGBTQ+ events.

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“Club Q was not just a gay bar, it’s almost like a place of faith, where people could come and feel inspired, and feel healthy and feel whole. It’s such a violation of the whole community.”

Amber Carlton, communications manager for Community Health Partnership, said, “For a lot of people here, time has stopped. They feel the pain just as deeply as they did two years ago.”

The physical wounds in Gamblin’s arms and chest continue to heal, aided by regular physical therapy sessions. But her memories of the assault — the helplessness she felt as she lay bleeding on the club floor, the panic as she feared she would die without speaking with her deployed husband, the revulsion she felt as she rode in an ambulance alongside the person who had tried to kill her — are unlikely to fade anytime soon, she said.

“Sometimes it feels like it’s been an eternity,” Gamblin said. “Other times, it feels like it just happened last night. Emotionally, I think we are all absolute wrecks.”

Dana Rasmussen, who intended to go to Club Q that night but changed plans at the last minute, felt compelled to attend the gathering despite recovering from recent major surgery.

“I just needed to come visit with my family, and I needed them to see me, to let them know that this kind of hate won’t stop us. Ever,” Rasmussen said.

Stephanie Clark, Ashley Paugh’s sister, drove from her home in Ordway to pay her respects to her sister, as well as the other fatally wounded victims and the survivors.

“She was just a loving, caring mother, daughter, sister, aunt and friend,” Clark said. “I can’t believe it’s been two years.”

The gathering, hosted by the Prism Community Collective, was a somber, emotional affair, marked by tears, hugs and moments of quiet reflection. But there was also laughter, camaraderie and an air of defiance from a community that refuses to live in the shadows, even when threatened with violence.

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“We are definitely way too headstrong for that,” Gamblin said. “If anything, this made us stronger and a bit prouder. We’re still here. It’s not something that we are just going to sit down and take.”

Prism, which offered refreshments and memorial candles on Sunday, will offer extended hours, from noon to 9 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday, at its community center at 711 Tejon Street. Those in need of support will have access to on-site support resources, officials said.

“We’re here for whatever the community needs,” Carlton said.

For now, even as they grieve, members of Colorado Springs’ LGBTQ+ community will continue to show up for each other, Rasmussen said.

“We’re here,” she said. “We’re strong. We will survive.”

On Tuesday: ‘Solidarity and community’

The owners of The Q by the Orbit Lounge, founded by former Club Q employees and shooting survivors Michael Anderson and Tara Bush at the Satellite Hotel on South Academy Boulevard, are hosting a memorial event on Tuesday, the anniversary.

A Night of Resilience and Strength: Two Years After Club Q is an evening of “solidarity and community” to remember the tragedy and celebrate the community a hate-motivated massacre attempted to sever, starting 8 p.m. Tuesday, at 411 Lakewood Circle in Colorado Springs.