Shooting yourself in the foot — or the leg — is never a winning strategy. Just ask my beloved New York Giants.

In 2008, star receiver Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg. It all went downhill. The Giants were cruising at 10-1, then lost four of their next six games, including a crucial home playoffs matchup.

Pop some popcorn, folks! The Colorado Republican Party, under fearless Chairman Dave Williams, now seems determined to make like Plaxico. Rhetorically speaking, of course — but still far more entertaining than watching my poor Giants these days.

Thursday’s Colorado GOP meeting was nothing but a political circus. Originally called to ram through sweeping bylaw changes consolidating party power, the Zoom call dissolved into a chaotic hour-and-a-half of… nothing.

Williams spectacularly clashed with State Rep. Ron Weinberg, whose mic was repeatedly muted as he tried to raise a point of order. “Put the rules into order and gain this meeting under control to make sure that the Republican party in Colorado doesn’t look like a bloody embarrassment,” Weinberg called out. “Please do not engage in parliamentary, procedural tricks in order to make everyone’s life miserable,” Williams whined.

The farcical exchange rivaled Vice Chair Hope Scheppelman’s infamous, rain-soaked huddle under a bridge last summer — a five-minute “meeting” more entertaining than Saturday Night Live these days. It’s hard to tell which was more skit-worthy.

The power grab was halted when members insisted on enforcing voter ID rules that Williams himself championed. Caught flat-footed like a kid who forgot to write his book report, he scrambled for next steps.

His predecessor, Kristi Burton Brown, later rubbed in the salt: “Sad to see (Williams) oppose voter ID and voter integrity at the (GOP) meeting tonight. Thankfully, our elected officials and a majority of the committee overruled him and kept our principles intact.”

Williams opened by falsely claiming everyone was credentialed, only to be disputed by his own members. (“You lied and said we were credentialed,” Congresswoman Lauren Boebert chastised.) He ended by illegally adjourning without a motion. In the immortal words of South Park’s Butters Stotch, “Oh, hamburgers!”

Later, Williams stubbornly vowed to “decide on how to proceed” at another special meeting or their next scheduled meeting in March, when leadership elections take place.

It was a humiliating defeat for the failed chairman — and a win for Boebert, who’d tried to adjourn earlier but was shut down by Williams. Ultimately, his faction was humiliated on its own turf. The emperor had no clothes.

It’s gotten so bad that even Tina Peters, who ran against Williams for chair before backing him, has turned against him — from behind bars. When even the former Mesa County clerk-turned-folk hero for stolen election conspiracies “can’t stomach” you, you’ve hit new lows.

Meanwhile, Williams’ peeps smear Boebert and Weinberg, whose only offense was daring to challenge him.

His hunters of “Republicans in Name Only” at RINO Watch — renowned for Shakespearian wit and Madisonian wisdom — hid behind “Leroy Spicer” (apparently, “Angry Keyboard Warrior” was taken) to bash Boebert. Their Mad Libs rant dubbed her a “fading-but-vain Little Tramper,” conveniently forgetting they’d touted her as part of “America’s A-team” last summer and now claim voters were “desperate” in a solid-red district.

Raymond Garcia, head of the Colorado Hispanic Republicans, wondered if Boebert is “going Ken Buck on us?” — because, in today’s Colorado GOP, any independent thought is automatically Orwellian “wrongthink.”

Meanwhile, in the YouTube peanut gallery, activist Gabriel Martinez dubbed her “Bobertifa” — implying Boebert secretly meets with Antifa between congressional votes.

Yes, they’ve cracked the case: Boebert is a deep-cover liberal — a RINO double-agent, just waiting to swap her MAGA hat for a Bernie beanie! Someone should warn them their inner-Butters is showing: “I’m sure glad I splurged on the heavy-duty tin foil.”

Let’s be real: Team Williams makes a “South Park” conspiracy episode look like a Ken Burns documentary. If they spent half the time crafting a winning strategy as they do hurling playground insults, Republicans might actually get somewhere. Instead, while Democrats keep fumbling, they’ve chosen to be the wannabe Mean Girls of Colorado politics — without the charm.

A Quinnipiac poll shows national Democratic favorability at a grim 31%-57% — their worst since 2008, when Plaxico Burress shot his foot and Barack Obama bailed Democrats out. In Colorado, a Keating Research poll for the Democratic group One Main Street finds Dems at 45% favorable, 51% unfavorable.

Republicans aren’t winning popularity contests (37% favorable, 56% unfavorable), but a majority of Colorado voters — including the state’s largest bloc, unaffiliateds — trust them more on the economy and inflation. Once seen as the country club’s errand boys, the GOP now holds an edge on doing more for the working class.

Democrats, thy greatest asset is the squabbling Republicans.

In 2024, despite their best efforts at self-sabotage, Colorado Republicans picked up a few legislative seats and a key congressional seat. But Dave Williams keeps trying to out-Trump Trump, purging dissent like that guy who just discovered Facebook’s block button.

Memo to Williams: You ain’t Trump.

If Colorado Republicans don’t right the ship, it won’t matter which fool wins the laughingstock in March. The persecution complex will keep sinking them.

Jimmy Sengenberger is an investigative journalist, public speaker, and longtime local talk-radio host. Reach Jimmy online at Jimmysengenberger.com or on X (formerly Twitter) @SengCenter.