Curious cat dads and crazy cat ladies, unite. This is our time.

We are Cat People. No more shame!

I’m looking at you, lady in the park whose kids run happily up to my cat stroller to take a peek but when you realize that’s not a baby inside but rather my 19-year-old LunaStar out for a lazy ride you get that same panicked look on your face as that poor hippie chick as she’s getting munched by the shark in the opening scene of “Jaws” and you clutch your kiddies’ shoulders like pearls and slowly back them away from the strange man wearing a “Real Men Love Cats” T-Shirt as if that’s actually a 7-pound fur bomb in his buggy.

Yes, it’s a cat. Everyone should have one. (You could definitely use one.)

Same for all of you who show up at my house unannounced and ask if all the empty boxes strewn about means I might be moving but when I say no these boxes are for my cat’s daily afternoon scavenger treat hunt that activates both her hunting instincts and keeps her brain sharp I can tell you’re making a mental note to yourself to call in for a welfare check.

Cat dudes are no longer sick puppies!

I know this because we are many – and reinforcements are on the way!

Today, a 2002, 45-foot bus packed with 24 cats, two rats, three humans and a chicken pulled away from “The Meowy Manor” in Griffin, Ga., to embark on the 1,449-mile drive to Denver, where they will park at the Bug Theatre for three weeks of purrformances sure to amaze, amuse and raise funds for three local animal rescue services.

You can have your Fan Expos and Ren Fests and Frozen Dead Guys. We have “The Amazing Acro-Cats,” as featured in the amazing 2021 Netflix series “Cat People.” (There’s just so much good nerding to go around Denver right now.) “The Amazing Acro-Cats Dilly-Dally in Denver” and its critter chaos will reign at the Bug from July 3-20.

The Acro-Cats are a troupe of domesticated orphans, rescues and strays who have been trained to ride skateboards, jump through hoops, ring bells, balance on balls and execute other acrobatic acts of derring-do. This “90 minutes of pure madness and joy,” as Production Manager Ashley Murnan describes it, culminates with a musical number performed by the only all-cat band in the world. Tuna and the Rock Cats play guitar, drums and piano, backed by the Jazz Cats on saxophone, trumpet and clarinet.

Fun? Outrageously so. But there is meaning behind the madness.

“The main thing we want for people to understand is how amazing cats are, and how trainable they are, and how these kinds of activities are good for both their physical and mental health,” Murnan said.

“Are you a dog person or a cat person?” That’s a question that has divided Americans for decades. But I, for one, am tired of living in a world of “this or that?” Left or Right? White (wine) or rosé? Dogs or cats?

Why choose? I say: Dogs AND cats. It’s OK to love both. The fact is, if you engage with your cat in the same way that you engage with your dog, Murnan said, “You really can basically turn your cat into the best parts of a dog.”

“Cats get such a bad rap, added Acro-Cats founder Samantha Martin. “There is this lingering perception that cats are aloof and aren’t engaging, when the exact opposite is true.”

Cats crave stimulation and, just like a dog, they will give their owner their full affection and attention in return for interaction. “Cats are  just as smart as dogs and they’re just as worth putting time and energy into for building a bond,” she said. In a way, cats even have an advantage, she posited, “because cats are not quite as needy as dogs.”

The idea for the daily scavenger-hunt game with my cat is something that came up organically, but in short order, it became my cat’s absolute, non-negotiable daily routine. It is an extensive hunt – I have probably 20 boxes spread over two floors, with one treat hidden in each. My rock-star Goodheart Animal Health Centers vet Dr. Justin Pochman (check him out; he’s destined to become a YouTube star) would rather I only offered my cat, say, half that many daily rewards, but she’s 19 and has advanced kidney disease – she can have 30 a day for all I care.

Our treat hunt is not exactly a circus trick but, Murnan said, it accomplishes the same thing: It gives the cat a task and develops a skill. It keeps them active and engaged. And it further bonds the cat with the human it essentially sees as a bigger, hairless cat – with opposable thumbs.

“I actually think an afternoon scavenger hunt where your cat has to hunt for her treats throughout the house is brilliant, because that kind of regular activity is wonderful for both her enrichment and stimulation,” Murnan said.

I can testify that if I am brain-deep in my work at 3:30 on any given afternoon, I will not be for long. Because, to the minute, LunaStar will take her seat on the footstool next to the desk I am using right now to type these very words and lock eyes with me as if challenging me to a staredown until I step away from the laptop and distribute her cardboard loot for the day.

It’s not that different, Murnan said, than teaching an Acro-Cat how to do a high-five or walk upside down on a balance beam. Not only can you do these kinds of things with your own cat, Murnan said: You should do these kinds of things with your own cat. All you need is a clicker, some patience, a bag of treats and five minutes a day.

All of the Acro-Cats’ training is based on any cat’s innate adherence to routine and an understanding of basic action-reaction-reward behavior. Everything starts with a commitment to positive reinforcement. Meaning: A treat.

Every Acro-Cats show is different because no cat is ever forced to perform, and no show depends on the execution of any single trick. It is entirely possible, in fact, that one of the Acro-Cats might come find you in the audience and decide to sit in your lap all night – and that is just fine with everyone.

“The cats are great negotiators, so if they want to do tricks, they will,” Murnan said. “Or they might not. Really, they’re in charge.

 “So often, you will see a cat’s entire relationship with its owner based on negative reinforcement,” Martin added. “Cats are so smart and so capable, but you need to engage them. If they have behavioral problems, it tends to be because they’re bored. So if they do something wrong and you yell at them, they think, ‘Well, at least I got your attention.’ We teach people that you can take a negative behavior and turn it into something that’s acceptable.”

LunaStar, you should know, was an abused and abandoned cat when I met her. She had been deemed unsociable by the angels at MaxFund, who had me sign a contract promising that I would not allow any other animals into my home with her – ever. I did not fully grasp then that obliging this condition put all the pressure on me to provide her with pretty much her only regular interaction with another living creature. Sure, we do the daily treat hunt. But I often struggle with the feeling that I am not enough for her. Are any of us enough for our cats?

“Should we all be doing more?” Murnan asked. “I mean, I think everyone can give five more minutes a day to their cat teaching them something new, just to keep their brain active and stimulated.”

Toward that end, Martin added, “all our live shows educate the public on the benefits of clicker training for cats, and we show a video that encourages our audiences to train their cats at home with positive reinforcement.”

All aboard the bus

Martin started her rescue road show in 2005 when she was inspired to teach the original Tuna how to play the cowbell.

After taking her developing show to expos and conventions for a few years, Martin decided to try on a full, longer-term theatrical run, and she picked the purrfect place to pitch her cat circus tent: Denver’s own historic Bug Theatre, which has been hosting its own monthly (human) talent show called “Freak Train” for 25 years.

That first Denver run in 2010 was such a success, Martin has been bringing her now dying, 23-year-old, feline-filled bus back to the Bug every other July since.

“The Bug Theatre has a really special place in my heart, and we just absolutely love it there,” said Martin, who is issued a city permit to park her menagerie in front of the theater at 3654 Navajo St. for the full three weeks.

“There is no hotel anywhere that will take 16 cats, two rats and a chicken,” deadpanned Murnan, “so, being able to stay in the bus with the animals is absolutely critical for us.”

I said 24 cats before, and that’s because on this trip, the passenger itinerary includes eight newborn rescue kittens, each less than 2 pounds. They are not performing kitties. They are looking for a home. 

The second huge part of Martin’s mission is to care for and adopt abandoned kittens through her nonprofit, Rock Cats Rescue, which to date, has successfully adopted out 380 abandoned kittens. She and her team of three bottle-feed the kittens and provide around-the-clock care on the bus, which is equipped with essential incubators and supplies, until they identify their “furever” homes. Martin partners with local rescues in every city by donating a portion of ticket sales. For the Bug run, the benefiting organizations are Denver Cat Rescue, the Feline Fix and Rocky Mountain Feline Rescue.

After 14 years of biennial visits to Denver, the Acro-Cats have developed a loyal family of local followers, many of whom attend multiple shows at the Bug. “I reckon that I’ve worked this show more than 100 times, and it’s fantastic every time,” said The Bug’s Executive Director, Alexander Agosta-Weimer. “Even when the cats forget their lines. Or that they’re in a show.” 

So if you happen to be a Cat Dad looking for love without apology, Murnan said, come to where the cats are.

“I would say that being a Cat Dad has become sort of sexy,” she said. “Nowadays, if you say you’re a Cat Dad on a dating app, it opens up an entire world of possibilities for you.”

Just don’t Dilly-Dally.